by Dr David Phelps
Our first question to ourselves when we face a new challenge is often,
“Can I accomplish it alone?”
That’s an automatic for most of us entrepreneurs, but there should be another piece to that question… “Should I do it alone or collaborate with others?”
There’s a time for each, and knowing the difference can significantly reduce the stress, the costs associated, and even the time it takes to achieve the results you’re looking for.
Hard Work Does Not Mean Doing it Yourself
When I was young, the mindset that I was taught was to do all the work. Of course, hard work and effort are always required to do anything well in life.
But you don’t have to do all of it yourself.
When I was young, I really enjoyed tennis because I could play it solo (I still do). Not that I don't like to share with other people. But I like the control.
Team sports can also be really fun, but they require skills and attributes different from solo sports. There are pros and cons to both.
In life, just like in sports, we have challenges and goals. The difference is that in life, there are some aspirations we’d rather accomplish sooner rather than later.
Is it best to try to achieve these yourself? Do we only apply the skill of hard work that we grew up with? Or should we collaborate with others?
How to Collaborate for Faster Results
When I say collaboration, I mean finding a group, a tribe, or a community (formal or informal) in which you can leverage the experience of others and even work in tandem with others to produce your desired results.
I think more formal groups (skin in the game required) are better, but informal groups can also work. For example, there are Facebook groups that are typically free. There's a lot of give-and-take, but there's also what I call “wastelands” in those kinds of groups. You have to curate them, which certainly takes some time, but that’s true of anything valuable.
In my life, as I became more sophisticated in my thinking and how I learned, I realized that finding the right people made a significant difference in my results.
Finding the right people in real estate, getting my dental education, and becoming a better leader took time and effort, but it dramatically transformed my thinking and gave me so many more opportunities in my life.
There were so many things I didn't know coming out of school. I could get good grades for my license and certification and pass the boards. But that was not nearly enough to be successful. And it won’t be enough for you either.
The Right People to Collaborate With
The right people can fold time and accelerate you to your goal.
They are the people who don't have an agenda regarding your decisions. They're not trying to sway you one way or the other. They're agnostic.
In essence, the right people are trying to figure out a way to create more freedom and options in their own lives. Doing it alongside them can significantly accelerate your goals.
I have the privilege of working with many professionals in dentistry and medicine. Many of the issues are the same.
They can always make more money, but making that money is all dependent upon them. It’s why so many eventually burn out. They know they’re running on a treadmill and are desperately seeking freedom from it.
You could try to do it yourself. Usually, what that looks like is to keep doing what you’ve been doing. You just do it harder and expect a different result.
It’s the “Be more efficient” and “Be more productive” mindsets. There's nothing wrong with those mindsets, but they are linear progressions to real freedom.
What you need are major inflection points. Exponential, transformative changes in your life.
This only comes from a tribe, a group where you can find those who have succeeded in what you’re trying to do.
It’s learning from others about the blind spots that we all have in life. We all have those limiting beliefs that we grew up with. We all think everything has to be done a certain way. “It’s the only way to get there.”
I had to unlearn many of my limiting beliefs. And I have to continually work on them. I need to have people around me to keep me in check.
I might have this great idea or think I can solve a problem this way. But I check with two or three people that I can trust to ensure that my idea is viable and that there isn’t a better path to achieve it.
Those relationships are vital. People you can be completely honest with. And you can tell each other what you actually think and not just what the other person wants to hear.
That's how you get the most bang for your buck in your aspirations.
Questions to Ask Before Joining a Group
I've been a part of many groups, most of them are coaching or mastermind groups. I’ve found that the following questions have helped me sift and sort through the best groups that work best for me.
You can use these questions to choose the group that works best for you.
Who is the facilitator?
Who do they attract?
What is the group’s philosophy?
What are their values?
Who are the people in that group?
How many have commonalities with you in mindset and worldview?
What stage are you in your life, and do they share or cater to that stage?
Other considerations before joining a group:
You don't want to be the smartest one in the room. And you don't want to be the person at the bottom who has the most to climb. That's not a bad position, but sometimes it can be a tough lift. Ideally, you want to be somewhere in the middle.
These questions are helpful when starting to research groups, but in the end, you will have to try some out. The best time to try a group out is when you get referrals from other people you trust or respect.
I would encourage you all to find your tribe. You always get what you pay for, so invest in yourself by investing in other groups that can help you find the path to your goals.
If you take anything away from this blog, don't always try to do everything solo.
I would encourage you all to find your tribe. You always get what you pay for, so invest in yourself by investing in other groups that can help you find the path to your goals.
To your freedom!
– David
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