The Power of Community

We are taught and encouraged all our lives to be the John Wayne rugged individualist. Carry it all on our backs alone. We have to be the strongest, the most ardent, the one with the most perseverance. This is certainly the reality of dental school and often of private practice.

These are usually great qualities… to a certain point. We often take it too far. I know I have.

We think we need to figure everything out on our own. When we have an issue, a challenge, or an obstacle, we think we need to find a solution using our wits and experience alone.

This is a mistake.

Toughing it out on your own will only get you so far. Some have earned their position in life by their hard work alone and duly deserve the credit for it (Side note: How long did it take those individuals to figure it out?).

But in the end, there will always be problems, challenges, and enigmas that we just can't solve or get an answer to, no matter how long or hard we try.

We each excel in a lot of different areas, but we each have blind spots. It's natural. No one can be good at all things. We can't see everything for what it is or the possibilities that may be with every decision we make.

How to Solve a Problem Faster and With Less Effort

Being a part of a community, a tribe, helps you fold time in solving problems, finding solutions, and becoming educated faster than you could yourself. 

This tribe could be a small group, a board of advisors, not necessarily formal. It could be informal. A network or community or tribe is a group of people like-minded in spirit who collaborate, give authentic unbiased advice, and ask questions of clarity.

This is the source of my most significant inflection points in life that defined my success and helped me obtain my freedom. It helped me break through some of the barriers and challenges that I have faced.

Following Somebody Else’s Definition of Success Only Leads to Frustration

Many of us are running a profitable business or dental practice and worked hard to become educated professionals. What is frustrating is that even though we seem to be doing what we are told to do by society – working as much and as hard as possible, obtaining higher education, building a business – we still are not fulfilled.

We still feel a lack in other areas of life and can recognize that we have even failed in some respect – often involving family relationships. We haven't fully crossed over to that freedom of options we’ve always wanted.

But that was the dream, wasn’t it? More freedom and better choices? Not to be dictated by a schedule that was built 6 months in advance, making it hard to get away for just a few days?

You don’t realize how traumatic and difficult it can be until you see the results of following somebody else’s definition of success.

That is what happened to me over 20 years ago. My daughter, Jenna, was undergoing a life-saving liver transplant because she was in end-stage liver failure.

I was torn between my responsibilities as a business owner and a father. I had a dental practice that needed me to run successfully. I believed that was the only way I could serve people.

“I'm the doctor. I spent years earning a license and an education to be a dentist. I have to be there. I have support staff but without me, things won’t get done.”

But my daughter needed me too. I didn’t know how to solve this problem I was facing. That is until I was given some provocations and questions about what was most important in my life.

That’s when I gave up some things that I always thought would be true (Side Note: Killing Sacred Cows by Garett Gunderson is a great book on this).

What’s Holding You Back?

What is keeping you from prioritizing what is important in your life today? And if you could only keep those priorities in mind when making decisions how would that change the actions you take? What would that mean for your spouse? And for your family?

If you were to break through those self-limiting beliefs – for example: working more hours for the “sake” of your family. If you were to get rid of those thoughts that are holding you back, that keep you from living the life you want to live and making the memories you want to have, wouldn’t you call that true success?

So what is keeping you from realizing the success you define for yourself? 

Well, first, you must define what success means for you (what do you want?) and realize what beliefs or obstacles are holding you back from pursuing it.

A Community Grants Clarity – Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

In Freedom Founders we provide a lot of clarity for people who have been successful by society's definitions and standards but don’t feel at peace. They believe that they have to quit/retire today to feel that peace.

The clarity is in realizing that you can slow down, take more time off instead of feeling like you always have to be treading water. 

I was that way. I felt like I had to grind until that mystical someday when I reached the “finish line”. But then I had my breakthrough, my moment of truth. And it took pressure off during my family's health crisis. It granted me space to look hard at where I was spending my time and what I truly wanted.

But to obtain that clarity, to define what I wanted and what was holding me back, I had to have help. To find that solution, that alternative to grinding it out, I had to have a tribe. A community that encouraged me to have an open mind. To think outside the box. Who questioned me about what is really important.

A change in environment is often needed to catalyze true behavioral change. Surrounding yourself with new relationships that are aligned with who you want to become can be life-changing. 

That is the key to avoiding many sleepless nights and regrets later in life. It will be immensely harder to advance to your goal if you are trying to do it by yourself.

My advice: Find a group of people, mentors, coaches, a community, a tribe. There is somebody who has already figured out your problem. Somebody has already done it. You just don't know who that person is yet. You haven't made that association.

You have held your head up high and pushed on alone. But asking for help does not mean you are a lesser person. In reality, it means you are wise.

“No mind is complete by itself. It needs contact and association with other minds to grow and expand.” – Napoleon Hill

The concept of the mastermind was first originated by Napoleon Hill and brings to mind the purpose of finding a community. To “grow”. That will be the only way you can see the answer amidst the storm. That “contact” and “association” was the light at the end of a tunnel during a dark time for me and I know that it holds the same potential for you.

Freedom Founders is a tribe that I founded for that same reason. I love to lead and facilitate my community because I have the privilege to see the transformations that happen in people's lives.

It's not all about the money. It's not all about the ROI.